1. Follow Dale Carnegie’s advice: “Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” Pay attention when someone tells you their name, remember it, and use it often when talking to them.
2. Take a genuine interest in other people. Find out what’s important to them, what their aspirations are, and what makes them tick.
3. Be generous. Think of ways in which you can help others.
4. Follow up. When you meet someone don’t just get their business card or e-mail address and then forget about it. Find a way to stay in touch.
5. Look others in the eye when you speak to them.
6. Provide value.
7. Be authentic. Let others see the real you.
8. Make others feel important and appreciated.
9. Offer sincere compliments.
10. Follow Stephen Covey’s advice: seek first to understand, and then to be understood.
11. Mirror them. You can do it consciously to help build rapport by copying a number of aspects such as their basic posture, the position of their arms and legs, and the placement of their hands. Are they sitting forward, legs crossed? You can also mirror their breathing rates, the rhythm of their movements, and their energy level. Subtly match two or three things to enter into their world.
12. Smile. A warm, inviting smile will help put others at ease.
13. Display open body language by leaning toward the other person, sitting or standing with an upright posture instead of hunching over, and uncrossing your arms.
14. If someone has done something for you send them a hand written thank you note.
15. Make others laugh. Laughing with others is a bonding experience.
16. First give and then think about getting.
17. Keep the promises and the commitments you’ve made to others.
18. Be punctual. Being habitually late is disrespectful of the time of others.
19. Try to find common experiences or interests. People have a tendency to like others who are like them.
20. When you’re talking to someone give them your undivided attention.
21. Listen actively to what the other person is saying. That is, concentrate on them instead of mentally rehearsing in your head what you’re going to say next.
22. Paraphrase what the other person is saying to make sure that you’ve understood. Say something like the following: “I’m going to repeat in my own words what I think I heard you say to make sure that I’ve understood. Please correct me if you feel that I’ve misunderstood you.”
23. Make a first good impression. When you first meet someone it takes them about three seconds to form an impression about you, and first impressions are hard to reverse. They make this evaluation based on your appearance, your body language, your demeanor, your mannerisms, your personal grooming, and how you’re dressed.
24. Project a positive attitude.
25. Don’t whine or complain.
26. Share your interests. Let others get to know you.
27. Pace their volume. Someone who speaks softly will appreciate someone else who speaks softly. Likewise, someone who speaks loudly will often get along better with others who speak in a louder tone.
28. Pace their speech rate. Some people speak quickly and use short pauses between ideas, while others speak slowly and use longer pauses. Try to use the same speech rate they’re using.
29. Acknowledge other people’s field of expertise and ask for their opinion and advice in that area.
30. Albert Mehrabian established that 55 per cent of communication is in the body language, 38 per cent in the quality of the voice, and 7 per cent in the actual words spoken. Make sure that you use all three of these channels in a way that will best get your message across to others.
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